Exploiting the ubiquity of cell phones for quantitative chemical sensing imposes strong demands on interfacing devices. They should be autonomous, disposable, and integrate all necessary calibration and actuation elements. In addition, a single design should couple universally to a variety of cell phones, and operate in their default configuration. Here, we demonstrate such a concept and its implementation as a quantitative glucose meter that integrates finger pumps, unidirectional valves, calibration references, and focusing optics on a disposable device configured for universal video acquisition. Smart solution: An autonomous disposable device for quantitative chemical glucose sensing on cell phones was developed. It can operate without permanent accessories, integrates all necessary reagents, calibration and actuation elements, and entails a single design conceived to universally couple to any cell phone.